Silver Linings Of Urinary Catheters

(Companion Facebook post to Adventures With Mr. Winky.)

• Allows me to spend more time with my pee.
• Helps me more deeply explore the philosophical dimensions of urination.
• Makes me one hell of a cross-country driver.
• Greatly reduces risk of porn addiction.
• Less wear and tear on my mountain bike.
• Gives me an edge in face-to-face negotiations since other negotiators will be fixated by the question, “Is he peeing right now?”
• Will help build Urination Nation into a worldwide phenomenon.
• Floors get mopped more often.
• An awesome advantage in putting out small fires.
• Water balloons.
• Puts me at the forefront of the urinary-industrial complex.
• Increases odds of one day being named Mr. Senior Catheter U.S. and Mr. Senior Catheter World.
• Imbues me with an air of mystique.
• Makes me indispensable in emergencies in which a bag of pee is needed.
• Makes me dangerous: “Look out! He’s got PEE!”